rainy season

the weather's changing. it's suddenly not supersunny and hot anymore. kind of cloudy and cool- the beginning of rainy season i think.

it has to rain in the right places for the electricity situation to improve. it's pretty boring just sitting in the dark at night. kind of nice to talk... but pretty boring. not ever going to buy milk or meat while i'm here.

found out recently that our swahili teacher (when we took lessons during the first few weeks) is sick/dying in a hospital in moshi. he has lung cancer and he's paralyzed. i had plans to take a bus to moshi on sunday with st and visit, but then we realized that we would miss the afternoon visiting hours- so we're going to leave early this coming sunday to go. some of my roomates have gone already and said that you can only talk to him from a doorway of the room that he's in with other icu patients. he's a very charismatic and energetic man. and they said that he's still pretty cheerful.

ju's sticking around for this week. her mom wants her to wait until things completely calm down post-election before sending her back to uganda.

al just got back from monitoring elections there. she said that there was a lot less violence than there was in 2001, but she said it definitely wasn't fair. a lot of people voted more than once, and some people with valid voter cards were not allowed to actually vote...

things are good. sad that ju is leaving at the end of the week. and sad that there's still a whole week after this one to wait for sebby's arrival.

a okay

hi.

anish, melis, seb, and mom all called me last night all within two hours or so. it was fun to talk.

now we don't have electricity everyday until 11 at night. so we have it all through the night until 7 in the morning... no water=no electricity. things might change if the rainy season to come is rainy enough...

we made a big dinner again last night- have done it for the past few thursdays... but last night we didn't have electricity so ended up using a kerosene stove that was in the pantry. it was nice. there's always a different mix of people that come depending on who each person decides to invite. i invited an and her friend (the one that's becoming st's maybe girlfriend).

afterwards we went out and i saw yuzzo but didn't ever interact. when i was leaving, he said my name a few times in a "i know you can hear/see me" way- but i just kind of winced and kept walking... i hope that that's just how it'll be.

oh. last week i didn't have any change so i gave a taxi driver a 10,000 shilling bill (cab ride at night is usually around 2,000) and said that i'll just get the change from him another time. he seemed nice and he was because he started calling me and texted me to ask about giving it back to me. so i told him to meet me last night. he was there, but he didn't have the change so i said oh yeah i'll just get it later. i don't care if he ever gives it, i just appreciate his effort to return it/being honest. i had never met him before so i thought that it was nice of him because he could have easily just avoided me.
there's another taxi driver called koplo that the wesleyan kid introduced me to that i call to come to our house a lot. it's really convenient because he doesn't charge anymore than anyone else would and he comes to our house- which i like much better than walking down the dirt road in the dark and then walking along a busy road, waiting for a taxi to stop. and he doesn't speak english but wants to learn and is a good person to practice swahili with. i see him in the mornings sometimes too when i get out of the dala dala on the way to work. he surprised me the other day when he put his hand through the dala dala window and grabbed my arm to say hello. i thought it was a stranger at first. he's a pretty jolly seeming man.

the other night a different taxi stopped to pick r, st, and i up and i didn't want to take it because there were two people in the car- and i've heard you shouldn't when there's more than just the driver. but r said she does it all the time. but then something was really wrong with their car because it got really cloudy and my eyes were burning and so were r's and st was trying to open the window but couldn't. r started saying "do you think we should get out?" when we were just on the road/not near our house... i didn't know why but then she told me later that she was remembering what i said about two people and got nervous that they were gassing us... hahaha. they just had a bad car that needs to be repaired. it was funny to see her get nervous about something. she normally never seems to fear/overthink anything.

ju took me on another date with her yesterday. we met this un judge assistant that's been living here for four years for coffee. he's from scotland and pretty young looking. he sends her lovey texts. just when he said he was going to leave, i inhaled some soda by mistake and had a coughing fit. ju always says/jokes "cheap is expensive" (in this instance, free drink but then i suffered from coughing)

there's a nice guy from switzerland who's a lawyer and a magician. i've known him since i've been here and he's a few years older than me but looks ten years younger than me. i've only seen him do one magic trick but it was absolutely amazing. he's passed the theoretical test for the magician's circle of switzerland but still has to take the practical... it's an interesting hobby to have.

i definitely feel like i'm getting used to my surroundings/could live here for a while. part of me wonders if i'll come home when i'm supposed to or not. but i miss people too much.

certain people here aren't new and exciting anymore, but i also don't feel superclose- so it's a boring middle area...

since that bad stuff, i'm sad to think that the lesson is to be friends with people that are similar to you... but i am going to try less to make friends for a little bit.

i think r is going to fall back into a pattern with s. i feel bad that she's opting to reduce her self confidence... but everyone lives their own life i guess.

got a ticket to cairo yesterday. am very excited. itinerary includes, climbing mt. sinai, going to the red sea, seeing the pyramids, etc. this egyptian girl that's interning at the trib here is going home and we're going to visit her.

sat in on court proceedings at the tribunal this morning- boring snoring this time.

have a good weekend

a little better

hi.

if you're my friend, and want to know what the last entry was- email me and i'll send it to you.

the talk went ok. she's very strong. and s said to let him know if y ever threatens her again...they don't want to involve the police- for many reasons, it seems like a bad idea to them.

i feel a little better about things today. tears kept slowly slipping out of my eyes at the office yesterday and ju kept looking at me and saying "you're fine?" and that made it harder to hold it in. so after a few trips to the balcony, where i'd tell myself to look at the sun or focus on a building, she asked me again and i just started crying. she was so nice to me and hugged me a lot and said that it's good to discover things so that you'll become wise. she made me feel a lot better. i was really just crying because the whole situation had been weighing on me for a few days and i felt bad that i couldn't change it, and sad that i was so wrong about someone.

then i slept a lot last night and i feel a little bit lighter today.

ju has malaria but has managed to stay in good spirits/come to work. we went to the masai craft market after work yesterday with r and two of her friends. i bought a few gifts for people and practiced bargaining but still got ripped off.

ju taught me a saying that means you had something good/valuable in front of you, but you took a chance and lost it. "umechezea shillingi chooni" means you played with a coin and it fell in the toilet more or less. literally, i think it's you played with a coin in/at the toilet. but i think it means you played with something valuable near the toilet and it fell in. she teaches me interesting/funny little things that i can usually find applications for in our later interactions...

work is boring because they give me 2 days to do work that takes 2 hours...or they give me vague tasks minus the information that i need to actually do it. and they're in uganda monitoring elections now, so there's nothing to do but take a long time to do stuff. yesterday i walked around to different ngos asking for a copy of their human resource manual... the streetchildren place hasn't emailed me back yet. i really hope that i can work for them also, at least a little. especially after ju's gone...

i'm getting a ticket to egypt today- cairo. i'm going with r a little after sebby leaves-so end of march. it'll be nice to have something to look forward to after he's gone. the ticket stops in dubai so we may try and spend a day there also.

oh. also, one of the volunteers that used to live in our house and has been back in the us for the past few months, came back to arusha to live with her boyfriend for the next three months and see how things go. he's from here. i haven't met her but am curious to because i've heard so much about her.

the other volunteer, st, is starting to maybe start to have a girlfriend. when i met her, she told me that she really wants to date someone that's white so i introduced her to st. then whenever i'd see her, she'd ask where he was and say she missed him. she doesn't speak any english though and it's really hard for them to communicate. she's an's friend and they go to the same school here. he's gone to meet with her and talk after work for the past two days. the only thing that bothers him is that she technically has a boyfriend, but she seems pretty intent on making st her boyfriend.

didn't play in the fundraiser soccer game this past weekend. went dressed to play underneath my clothes, but they had enough players. it was semi-fun to watch. they had uniforms and everything. it was in the stadium in town and there was a local radio station there i think (a truck with loud music?). there were long speeches during halftime- i got hungry and left.

not much else. still heavy but getting lighter. had bad dreams last night. nervous for tomorrow when i see yuzzo for the first time since knowing everything... i hope that my eyes don't show what i think/disappointment/fear/that i know the bad thing...wouldn't want him to do anything that would cause problems for/with her. i kind of hope that we just won't speak at all.

uncensored- read at your own risk

uncensored- seriously, read at your own risk

oh, about that last post. i'm not worried about it. he stopped calling and then called again twice yesterday, but i never answer so i'm sure it'll stop soon.

but found out things this weekend that have made me pretty heavy hearted and stressed. i'll tell you, but please don't read this if you expect me to filter at all... maybe daddy should stop reading now if he reads this...


ok. remember my friend yuzzo? he's not my friend anymore.

(WAS ORDERED BY CERTAIN COUSINS AND SISTER TO DELETE THE MAJORITY OF THIS ENTRY)

babymama drama

hi.

so i emailed the head of the streetchildren organization to see if i can work in their arusha office one day a week. we'll see what she says.

so this guy called me yesterday night after i got home and told me that he saw me getting into a taxi and asked someone for my phone number. i said oh ok i'll see you around i guess. then he called me at 7 this morning, 9 this morning and i made juliana talk to him twice, and then he called again and i spoke to him telling him that i'm not interested in meeting him because i've never met him before. and now he's sent me 3 texts and now my phone is ringing again and it's him. and it's only noon. i know, but the point is... his last text was about my roomate(we're different races but he assumes that we're cousins) and it's him telling me that he saw a guy breaking a glass at her feet like he was going to hit her... i thought it was really scary to read because it's true. the guy was her boyfriend. and she ran away crying and left me there last night. i didn't see her boyfriend do that and he didn't tell me that that's what their fight was that made her leave.

anyways, this guy is weird. i don't know what involvement he has or wants in my life, or r's life. i'm not answering him because i don't want to be friends and the more i communicate, the more i'd be accidentally creating familiarity/seeming friendship... and i've never even seen or met him

(this is later now. i just got back from lunch and there are 3 missed calls from him and a text message that says "what's your name? why are you in tanzania? etc.. and then he says that he lives pretty much exactly where i live. i don't know why it's fun for him to do that... he obviously knows my name because he got my number from someone who knows my name- and i hate that he's pretending that he lives where i live and asking me where i live... i hate him. i hope that i never meet him. do you think i should just answer the next time and be rude? but i already said that i don't want to be friends nicely...)

so i feel really bad for r. i hope she doesn't go back with s. it seems like she always does. but hopefully this was extreme enough for her to just move away from it.

i ended up getting home fine last night. my friend yuzzo took a taxi back with me and then slept in our living room. there's a bed there.

we made a big dinner for lots of people last night and it was really fun. ju came over after work and helped cook but then left before the dinner so that she didn't get home too late. it's kind of nice having very little electricity because we burn a lot of candles. then an oldish man sang and played guitar outside after dinner. he came along with r's boyfriend. he's his friend... this was all pre-glass breaking... mom, you talked to the man that played guitar on the phone. and you spoke with r's boyfriend briefly. he's a nice guy, just a little immature and angry(?) i guess.

oh, ju and i went to lunch with tumaini yesterday. it was fun. he's actually much older than he seems. he's fifteen. but cute as a button. he's so polite and there's something so nice inside his face. he's been on the street for many many years. we didn't ask him too much about his life. mostly just eating. he asked if he could take our leftovers for his dog. later, ju said she doesn't think he has a dog. either way, i definitely would've taken them too.

not much else to write. feeling a little homesick.

post valentine's day

hi.

happy valentine's day yesterday.

my roomate j is doing better. she came home from the funeral day before yesterday and was very upset and crying and talking about everything a lot and i hope she's feeling better. she said that the families handled the funeral very respectfully. sg said that sometimes people fight so much about religion/traditions that the person doesn't get buried peacefully. the boy's dad is from here and the boy's mom is from kenya. she came for the funeral. the boy also has an 8 yr old brother (has a different dad) that lives in a different center for street kids. she said that the boy's father expressed interest in maybe taking care of the boy's younger brother even though it's not his son.

the boy's father only met him when he was 13 and the mother couldn't take care of him anymore. the dad accepted him and threw a party and killed a goat because his son had come home, but i think at that point the boy had already experienced life on the street and it was too hard to live with restriction... she said he was very angry.

j said that the boy that passed away was always threatening/very mean to her and she was thinking in the hospital that he better be nice to her next week. and she feels a lot of guilt because at one point in the hospital she thought if you're going to die, just do it.

i hope she feels better.

sg says that the government hospitals are so bad here that you're as good as dead if you need to go there in an emergency. he said that they can put more than one person to a bed and the doctors and nurses accept bribes. and the private hospitals are very expensive- everything, including operations, need to be paid for in cash upfront. an ambulance ride to one in particular costs a hundred us dollars.

j saw a ten yr old boy next to the boy that she was with die from being treated "locally" with herbs. they poisoned/did something bad to him and the hospital couldn't help. she said that his father looked very guilt-ridden and left the boy as he was dying and then another man came to the boy for a little bit. and then they both left.

i've been reading a lot about the arusha caucus- the group of orgs that wants to solve problems that arise between street kids and the govt and i really like reading about it and feel like maybe i should volunteer with one of the streetkid places. i also met tumaini again yesterday and ju and i both gave him money. he said he doesn't smoke or do glue, but of course he'd say that- but i also believed it. i know that maybe that's bad to do, but there's just something about him that's bright and optimistic and sweet. anyways, it seems like this place (where i work) has made commitments to the caucus but i'm not sure about the follow through. if i feel like there's a real potential to be productive here, i'll stay. but after ju goes back to uganda, i feel like i won't like it here. and i really like reading about the streetkids. and i want to interact with people.

i was reading interviews with boys that were being held at the adult prison here and one of them was imprisoned for 6 months because a man approached him and asked him to recommend a houseboy- so he did- but then the houseboy stole a cellphone from the man and ran away. so the man went and arrested this kid because he had recommended the houseboy. it's so sad and scary for that boy...

anyways, so yeah. i'm conflicted. i know that you probably think it's crazy that i'm even considering switching organizations.. i mean i won't if i feel like my caucus task isn't bogus... but i will if i realize that it is or i can't push anything to work. but the streetchildren center mainly needs someone to do administrative work in their office/be in it because no one is... and even though that's not the "career path" developing that i said i'd do, i'd get to interact with the kids because they come in when they need stuff/help or just to talk.

i don't know.

i have so much fun and laugh so much with ju. she reminds me of what it's like to really really get along/be close with people. i'm going to be really sad and realize that arusha's a lonely place once she goes back to uganda. she's already missing some of school and might go back even later depending on how the elections go/when they end/if it goes smoothly...

she came with me to that wesleyan kid's birthday/valentine's day dinner party last night. it was more fun than i expected. our nightwatchman lied to her and told her he doesn't have a wife, and so did a taxi driver who had invited that wesleyan kid to his wedding... she said that the men here just say that. a lot of suitors come into our office to talk to her. and one of them came by in a suit yesterday (for valentine's day?) and he said that the reason he wears rings on his wedding finger(he seems too young to be married) are because he has to ward of ladies that chase him. i've never heard of a single man doing that before...

i try and supply romantic background music when i can tell they're trying to make her agree to date them

my stomach's been hurting a lot the past couple of days...

lastly, st-the other new volunteer annoys me whenever we're around other people, he makes jokes that reflect a "it's a sick sad world we live in" attitude. it absolutely gets under my skin. i can't tell if it's put on or if that's how he really is and just isn't himself around me... who cares i guess

routines

so i felt that little feeling of boredom that follows me wherever i am whenever i settle into some sort of routine. it's nice to finally know that you can't escape it and that i'll just have to deal with it anywhere and always...

i have some bad/sad news that i'll get out of the way now. mom and dad, you already know this so you can skip ahead if you want. my roomate j came home at 3 in the morning on thursday because a streetkid fell out of a tree in the afternoon and she took him to the hospital and stayed there until he eventually died. she's been kind doing ok but i feel really bad for her. she started to seem to come out of it/a little cheerier yesterday...

also, my other roomate a's friend died in moshi recently. he was a 21 year old volunteer from the uk that'd been here for 6 or 7 months. he was getting out of a dala dala and another vehicle came and hit him. he died en route to the hospital. his parents are coming here and want to spend some time to see what his life was like here.

we got a ride to work with some people that r knew on friday and when she told them about the streetkid passing away, both of them started laughing... i think the reaction meant "wow, she has a tough job"... not sure though

the weekend was kind of slow. went to an outdoor party with a lot of un people. ju came along so it was fun. all in all kind of boring. i'm kind of sick of seeing those un people. i've reached my "point" of conversation with a lot of them and i feel like they're boring/uptightish... rude, but true. anyways, i think ju had fun. i introduced her to yuzzo and they didn't get along as swimmingly as i had hoped. she was kind of standoffish when she met him at the party and then later explained a little bit- but i can't say i understand really. i think it's mostly a class issue. it seems like she doesn't like general things about the subculture that he's a part of. she said things like the music that they make is loud, they use a lot of slang to the point that it's almost their own language, they're not highly educated etc.. etc. none of which matters to me because i really like yuzzo and think he's a good person. it's just funny that i assumed that they would get along since they're both two of my most real/reliable friends here. oh well.

oh yeah. here's a funny story. after the party i took a cab with ju, and her friend d that works near us.. we were going home in the order of ju, me, and then d. after dropping ju off, we stopped for gas and d was saying, " i like this driver. i've known him for a long time. he lives near you. he won't rape you. he's old. he's lost that desire for women. he takes the job very seriously." it was funny and memorable. later ju told me that the driver told her that he keeps a big knife in the car to protect it. i'm really happy that i didn't understand when he was saying that because i would have been frightened that he anticipates being robbed.

i never ended up going to yuzzo's place. maybe next weekend. i was tired when he got in touch with me on saturday and i wasn't home yesterday when he wanted to go. we also postponed going to the nightwatchman's house because j thought the funeral would be yesterday... so we're going to go next weekend i think.

yesterday, i went with a and st to a recycled items charity fashion show. it was put on by a rotary club and another charity organization. a is very ecofriendly/enviro so she was excited about it, and for me it was something to do...it was pretty boring but something to do. then it started raining and everyone left so a , this girl n, and i went swimming in our clothes. it was fun and much warmer than standing around in the rain. then this pilot guy with a broken arm that's of euro descent but born and raised in zambia and living in arusha gave us a ride home.

i agreed to play in a soccer game next weekend with chawakua versus a team of people that have hiv- i'm sure that they're probably an organization or something... but that's how it was explained. the game is to raise money for aids orphans. i don't really know who's going to pay to watch but apparently a lot of people do...

there hasn't been much rain for several years so they're having to ration electricity. we've been informed that we won't have electricity on mondays or fridays indefinitely.. and we didn't yesterday either but that was unplanned. i think other people only have water during certain times of the day- at least that's what that lady told me that time i went to her house.. but visions probably pays for us to have a constant supply because we always have it.

i eat a lot more since i've started working. i buy a chapati or beef samosas and cookies every morning outside of work. then i go out for lunch to a local place and eat a lot of hot food. i try and eat as much as i can during the day at every opportunity so there's less pressure to figure out what to eat at night... so far it's been working out well.

i'm really excited for sebby to come. he's coming so soon! i'm going to look into a two day safari to ngorongoro crater but then he will only get to spend one night in arusha... so maybe i'll show him around here for two days before going to zanzibar... we'll see.

ok. lots of love, Ganga

a day in the life

yesterday i had the chance to do something really fun. ju and i left work a couple of hours early and went to sit in on court proceedings for the rwandan tribunal and it was so so interesting- much more than i thought it would be. her friend who works there invited us.

in one of the cases- a witness was talking from a covered booth confessing to his specific murders and also testifying against the defendent who he had formerly worked for/with. the defense lawyer seemed to be american and had a horrible attitude and you could sense that a lot of the people in the room didn't like him. the "madame president" of the judges kept correcting him and you could see that he was getting flustered.
we were trying to get there in time for the judgement of a certain case in which two people that've been imprisoned for ten years were acquitted- but we had just missed it.

after work, i was going to get a ride home with ju and her mom but we ended up running a lot of errands and then meeting her real dad for dinner. the mom and dad split when ju was born, but they're friends. it was fun. the mom has a drinking problem and that's why ju doesn't drink. i trust her driving though because she drinks so much and so often that it must not affect her that much. it was the first time that i met her dad and he was very polite and friendly.

i got home at around 10 and then this kid that went to the same college as ernie came over with his laptop and we watched a movie. mostly we just talked. i invited him over because we kind of get along and i think that i should invest energy in making friends with people that'll be here the whole time that i'm here. he's lived here for the past two years and has raised a lot of money for ngos around here. he's very enterprising/innovative and brings that mentality from home and improves businesses here. also he does something something microfinancing... but any profit goes back into loans for people. right now i spend a lot of time either with ju, who's leaving at the end of feb- or r, who leaves at the end of march.

that indian aunty that i met up with once called me again yesterday. she has trouble understanding my accent. she said that she has something that she wants to talk to me about and that i should go to her house. i said ok ok but i don't know when i'll go. i wonder what she wants to discuss, i have a feeling it has something to do with finding a girl in america for her son. she kept bringing that up/asking if i knew people when i went there before... don't know.

i met a streetkid yesterday that told me he knows my roomate j. he was really cute and charming and his ear was injured because another kid bit him when they were fighting over money. it looked like a bad burn. his name is tumaini (sp?), i think it means hope.

have some work finally

hi.
i like when you post things because it makes me feel like you're saying hi to me... so keep it up.

came to work an hour early today because i just leave when anyone's leaving around any time that i might leave, so that i don't have to cross the street alone- i never say that but they must suspect. i just find it terrifying and i'd much rather be at work at varying times than cross that street alone.

let's see. i finally met with him yesterday and he gave me some work to do. 3 broad projects and he kept saying "be a team leader" when i spoke with him. (i was trying not to remember that there are xrated websites on the computer that he lent me.. it might just be a virus...) they're part of a group of organizations called the arusha caucus which works on the street children issue (probs for the kids, and probs for the govt), and most recently they stopped police roundups of the kids (where they abuse them and throw them in adult prisons and try them as adults) by giving it media attention. but lately they've started doing the roundups again...he said that this organization has kind of been doing the bare minimum for the project and i should see that they are keeping the commitments that they've made and see if i come up with more stuff that they can do. it's very broad, but more interesting/room than jobs/menial tasks that i've always been given at home. i think the woman that worked on it before was fired just before i got here. also, he wants me to make suggestions for website changes/compare it to other human rights org pages and see if info is accessible etc.. and then he said that i'll be doing some event planning... seems ok, what do you think?

my roomate j works with streetchildren for another organization that's part of the caucus and she does outreach in the streets. she likes what she does, but gets sick of it/angry and frustrated with all of the attention she gets for being a foreigner and when the kids trick or beg her. she's brave to do it. i wouldn't be able to handle having the children beg me everytime i walked anywhere on the street. and i would be too saddened by their lives. they are raped and beaten a lot on the streets, but many of them think it's better than going back home.

i had bad dreams last night. i don't remember them but i woke up feeling appreciative that i'm not a streetchild. if i felt so unsettled by bad dreams, i can't imagine how i'd sleep on the street if i was in fear of being raped or beaten either by other streetchildren or adults.

other stuff. i took a quiet older than me woman from the office out for lunch yesterday. ju couldn't make it. i asked her if we could speak in swahili the whole time so that i can practice, but it made me so tired by the end of it... i had never really spoken to her/didn't know her personality so i'm happy we went.

last night i ate chicken for the first time since october when i had that bad experience cutting a cornish hen. i went with r and her boyfriend s to a restaurant where they cook nice fish and chicken and we ordered one of each and two plates of chips and we ate with our hands. i felt more comfortable reaching into what was closer to her than reaching across to him- so i ate the chicken...haha.

oh yeah, that woman that grabs people until they give her money- saw her again the other day when walking with ju around lunchtime but ju noticed in time to cross the street away from her. i felt bad for the woman and not scared of her this time though because one of the street children screamed something at her and she got scared and started shouting and lifting up her dress a little bit.

ok. no more news. love, Ganga

feb 7

hi!

this is old but-remember how i told you i met that mt. kili guide who told a sad story about how two of the people in his last group died from a rockslide and graphically described their deaths? i forgot to mention that earlier when i was still sharing a room with a, she had a bag of clothes near my bed that were the dead climbers' clothes. their families decided to donate their climbing clothes to the porters assistance program that a volunteers with. she said that she was trying not to tell me until the clothes were taken away but then it slipped out when someone else walked into the room and asked her where those clothes came from. i felt a little bit affected that i met their guide/heard their story and slept next to their clothes but never met them...

ok. onto other things i guess. so the bossman's back from kenya but not in the office yet today. today might be it. the day i get my list of tasks. keep your fingers crossed.

they do roundups here on sunday nights and throw street children in jail with adult prisoners so i think one of the things that this place does is try to help the streetchildren stay on the street instead of going to prison... i don't really know.

al left for uganda yesterday. she'll be gone for about a week. and then back, and then back to uganda again to monitor elections.

i'm taking ju and another woman from the office out for lunch today. i hope they don't mind if i insist that we speak swahili the whole time.

yesterday ju came over after work and we had ice cream from the store nearby and talked. it was fun as always. then later in the evening yuzzo stopped by with his friend to pick up a vcd of his that i had, and we sat around and talked with r. he said that he'll come by and get me on saturday and take me to see where he lives. he keeps saying that he lives in a slum and i'm interested to go and of course want to see where he lives, i know it's bad but i'm a little bit nervous just because it's different, and i've never been there. i think he lives with around 10 guys in two or three rooms... i'll tell you after i go. ju's sleeping over on friday so i think she'll still be over when he comes to get me so she'll come along. i want her to. they've never met each other but i like them both a lot so i'm sure they'll get along.

also, on sunday i have plans to go to our nightwatchman's house with j and st. he's invited us to go and meet his family etc... he's very nice and doesn't speak any english so he's a good person to try and practice swahili with.

i've been spending a lot of time with r because she's trying to have a life here independent of s. he made her a cd with a song on it that he sings, but the words are a joke i think because they are far from romantic. it basically says stuff like "you like me 'cause i'm rich/we're gonna play by my rules" etc.. and the chorus is "girl, things are looking bad for us".
on the dala dala (small bus) on the way to work today, we heard a man shouting our destination so i thought we'd stop but it was really the conductor shouting it as a question-and since no one said anything, we missed it. so we got out when we realized that we had passed it, and took a taxi here...
after work today, i'm going with her to a restaurant that's supposed to have great fish.


got over the homesickness that i felt yesterday and feel good today.

feb 6

hi party people

i thought i was over any and all feelings of homesickness until last night. before i went to bed, and when i woke up i felt it. i know it's because sebby went to pittsburgh for the superbowl and everyone's together without me, and without kavi... but it's easy to pretend that kavi's there too. and it's just me that's not... just kidding. anyway, i felt better when seb and deets called me on the way to work. congratulations pittsburgh.

someone just called my phone and he called me yesterday too. yesterday i couldn't figure out who he was and today i finally remembered while i was talking to him. he gave me a distinct creepy vibe when i met him last thursday and i'm certain that i didn't give him my number. i bet he asked around and got it. anyways, he said he wants to meet for lunch or dinner and i didn't know what to say so i kept saying "no, (long pause), thank you". it doesn't feel nice to say that when someone's trying to be nice, but it feels worse to agree to do something that you don't want to do.

oh ok. i don't know if i said this before, but i met this prosecutor for the rwandan tribunal who i spent a lot of time talking with and he told me different reasons for why it's a good idea to work for the un and i was saying how i'm split about where i would like to be on the spectrum of ngos etc.. and he said that i should send him my resume and email and he thinks i should work there etc. then he called me at work on friday and told me to send him my resume. i thought about it over the weekend, and wrote him an email this morning that said that i'm not going to send it because i feel undecided about it. but really, i don't want to send it because i think he has other intentions and i don't want to be in a position where he feels like i owe him anything... and it's not nice to get a position just because someone's interested in you. so that's that, and a good decision because it's very much my instinct.

so work- i bet you're wondering what i'm doing. the answer is nothing. the ceo is in nairobi and wasn't here at the end of last week. he gets back this afternoon and is coming to the office so i hope to meet with him and have any idea of anything to do soon... i gave his secretary some forms to fill out today for my residence permit. i don't know if i mentioned it before, but there are about six people that work here and it's two rooms in one of three buildings that make up the aicc- arusha international conference center... the other two buildings are un buildings. our building is called ngorongoro, and the others are serengeti and kilimanjaro.

this weekend was good. i stayed in friday because i was really tired. and melissa called me so it was nice to talk and laugh on the phone. saturday night i went to dinner and then dancing at this place colabus which is a place i've heard a lot about but never been to. it was fun but super dark in there. then yesterday, i went to snake park with ju and her mom. r and al came too. ju's mom was very nice and told me that i must be missing home because i look small and then she said don't worry, you have a mummy here. so i half jokingly called her mummy- part joke, part i didn't know what else to call her. saw a lot of snakes, found out that a black mamba is bad news. also went to a masai cultural museum where i learned a lot about masai people which i was happy about because they intrigue me very much. they still do female circumcision during adolescence, but i think they're trying to outlaw it in tanzania...

i like ju very much and feel like she's a reason that i'm happy here. not that i'm that close with her, but i feel promise/i don't see a limit/i can tell that we're both excited to see each other- which is nice, except that she's going back to school in uganda soon and then won't be back until may. we'll see what happens. things seem to change rapidly here so hopefully whatever happens, i'll be happy and not notice.

r and s weren't that nice to each other when they were in the same place on saturday and she was in a really upset mood when we came home. but now she seems happier and i think they're going to try and be friends or half date or something. whatever makes her happy. she's really nice and makes efforts to be friends but something about her is a little bit formal or hard for me to connect with... but i try and sometimes succeed. i connect well with yuzzo despite the language barrier but have to not initiate calling him and stuff- first of all because our phone conversations are very difficult and pointless and also because i don't want to give the wrong message- which is silly i know, but here it would give the wrong message even though it would be fine at home.

i don't know why. i just can't shake the homesickness this morning. hopefully it'll be gone by tomorrow.

oh, i practiced a lot of swahili this weekend. but i've noticed that when i make a mistake, people don't correct me because they know what i'm trying to say, or they just laugh. i guess i do the same for english if someone's english is really bad and there's just too much to correct. but it's hard to practice because people act like hey good you're on the right track and then they want to speak in english. so i'm going to try harder to review and build my vocabulary on my own...we'll see.

ok. bye.

feb 3

so i'm still waiting to meet with him and make a list of stuff for me to do... he said either yesterday or today. if not today, i'll remind him that i exist on monday.

in the mean time, i've been reviewing my swahili notes and flipping through random publications.

yesterday, ju asked me if i wanted to go to lunch with her and maybe meet a friend of hers. so i went along and then realized that i was actually accompanying her on a first date with a guy that she met somewhere once. it was funny and fun. they spoke in swahili most of the time and i would interject once in a while by repeating a sentence that i understood back as a question... anything to practice right? the man was really nice, kind of older- early thirties i think and he mines tanzanite and sells it in dubai. ju said she stays away from anyone that mines tanzanite. i guess a lot of people do that here and it's a way to make a lot of money in a short amount of time. al didn't come on the date because she went to the bank and she ended up having to wait there for a long time. then she met us afterwards.

while we were walking back, there was a woman standing on the street across from two other women and we kind of walked through them on the sidewalk and as we were passing the single woman put alice in some sort of wrestling hold. she just grabbed her very quickly but putting her arms underneath alice's armpits. alice screamed i think, i don't remember because the three of us were really surprised and we kept walking and the woman let go of alice and walked away. apparently she's known for grabbing people and holding them in a headlock or something until they give her money... that's why the other two women were standing there. one was getting money out of her purse to pay the woman for hitting her i guess. anyway, ju said that when she told her mom last night that her mom said that you can avoid the whole situation by giving the woman 100 shillings when you see her because that's all she wants. ju said that if you don't give her money she'll start hitting you with a rock. anyway, it was definitely interesting. i kept making myself laugh last night by re- imagining the woman grabbing alice and the look on her face.

sorry that i keep typing about ridiculous crime stories but i don't know why i do- just because i notice and remember them. most of the time things are happy and good so when something different happens i remember.

went to the reggae concert last night. it was fun. yuzzo rapped a little bit. i couldn't understand the words but most of the songs are about "life in the ghetto". he lives in a ghetto across the road from us called kijenge. i asked before why it's called a ghetto and it's because a lot of people live together in a room and i think share clothes and stuff. i've only been there once at night to drop s's housegirl off and i was in a car so i didn't really feel like i was anywhere.

anyways, the concert was good. r and s were both there and they weren't really speaking but then left together at the end of the night and then she came home in the middle of the night crying. i was sleeping and didn't wake up so i didn't hear any of it. and then she left again later. so i hope things are sorting out...

oh- i never wrote about the food here. there's chapati (pronounced differently only because the t at the end is a hard one) that's cooked a little differently than indian chapati- it's a little flakier and kind of buttery. and there's ugali which is kind of like kaddambutu(sorry about the spelling) but smashed together in a big heap and you break off pieces and eat it with meat. chips mayai is eggs with french fries cooked into them(i love it but a bit tire of it easily). what else? i don't know- vegetables, meat, normal stuff. i've had really yummy barbecued beef here. the food's not a huge adjustment and i don't think it would be for anyone. anyone would like it. but st is veggie so he has trouble finding stuff sometimes...

i forgot to tell you about the masai. i don't know much about them. am slowly learning more... so please forgive me if my description is basic and bad. they are a tribe i think and there are lots of masai people around here. you can tell who is masai by the colorful clothing that they wear that is wrapped around them like a shawl and some of them have very big holes in their ears and they're often carrying what i think is a herding stick. i think that they believe that all cattle belong to them. that's what i heard. and i heard that they are very good warriors. and i've heard that masai people have very good hearts. when we went hiking, a nice masai man came with us to show us the way.

oh, and the women here are called mama and then the name of their first born child and the men are called baba and then the name of the first born kid. i don't know if i mentioned it before but our house is attached to a family's house which is nice. there are lots of dogs and kids always running around.

not much else. love, Ganga

work started

hi!
started yesterday and just read through their "strategic planning" binder for most of the day... supposed to meet with the ceo today or tomorrow and make a list of specific tasks.

i sit in an office with al, a lawyer from uganda who's 30 and ju, whose a little younger than me and finishing law school in uganda but she's from here. she's leaving in a month.

in the first 5 minutes of meeting alice, she said "you're still like a kid" a couple of times and i wasn't sure if she thought i looked younger than i am or what but it made me laugh. she's one of 10 children and she said that when she told her parents that she only wants to have 2 kids they told her she might as well have none at all because anything can take two children away from you (death..). she has a lot of stories and makes funny jokes. i went for a walk with ju who was instantly warm and i like a lot. she was holding my hand a lot and it made me feel like we're already friends. i went to lunch with them and two other women and it was fun even though we sat in a restaurant for an hour and a half and the food never came so we had to come back and then just ate chapatis from the stand outside the building. after work, i went window shopping with al and ju and then we took a bus to ju's house which is pretty out of town. it was al's first time going to her house also. it was fun. drinking juice and talking until it started to get dark. then took a bus with al to where she was going and then took a taxi from there because it was dark and sg told me not to take the bus's in the dark and i didn't think i'd be able to recognize where i live in the dark etc... even in the taxi, i was telling him to stop at a place that wasn't where i live- but he didn't listen to me and kept driving which was good.

i hope that it's fun to work here. it's my compromise place. it's not the un/not helping anyone at all but myself because i feel like a part of the world says that you should work there for your resume... and it's not chawakua which is kind of where my heart wants to work just because you get to be so involved and it's underfunded but not part of a career path that i want- which is what i need.. a career path. i promised myself i would try and work on it. so this is my in between. but i already feel good about it because the people are so great.

yuzzo's concert is tonight. i'm excited. it'll be fun. he's very passionate about his music so that makes him good at it. it should be fun.

i forgot to mention that i went to that indian lady's house who stood me up my first week here. i went sometime last week and spent an evening with her. it was fun. i was super affectionate with her because she seems a little lonely and grumpy. i think we both had a good time but don't know if we'll stay in touch. i told her i'd go to kenya with her last weekend if she was up for it but then she called and said she wasn't feeling well. i suppose it's up to me to keep up a connection 'cause i'm younger but i don't think i'm going to.

i can't think of what to write. i heard a horrible story yesterday of this girl who lit herself on fire in seventh grade because a boy broke up with her and then she burned and burned and never died. she spent a long time in the hospital and her father used all of his money and now she's finally out- but sad. her dad has no more money and shows her picture to people and explains that he spent all of his money to treat her and asks people to help him out...

did you like that story? ju told it to me during lunch yesterday. i really like her. i wish that she would be here for the whole time that i'm here.

my swahili's getting worse. it was best last friday after my last lesson. i can feel myself forgetting. i made flash cards the night before last and i told st that we should practice for half an hour every evening... he said ok.

oh. bad news. r and her boyfriend s seem to be breaking up.

more bad news. he's letting me use his travel computer for the month until ju leaves and then i'll sit at her desk- but i realized that lots of x-rated sites have been visited and i'm having trouble connecting to the internet and need to ask for help. i hope that no one thinks that it's me!

ok. bye!