chawakua

hi.

you know how i said that i'm going to start volunteering part time with a local hiv/aids ngo? well, i started yesterday... it was good. but very frustrating. it's a completely capable organization that is severely underfunded. they used to do a lot when they used to receive funding from things like usaid, family health international, and the b and m gates foundation...the african organization that was funded by the others and providing chawakua with money was the one that was cut off. but now there really is no money... grants have been written but none granted so far. there are pictures of the clintons at one of their events when they used to be more active/when they had funding... maybe i should write to them for money? the staff is a hundred percent volunteer and very dedicated. it's really great to be around people who really believe in/care about what they do and don't care that their efforts are not rewarded and they're all personally running out of money... but they're willing to work and be there and care about improving things in their community.

but anyways, i think i'm going to try and fundraise in the us... i'll come up with a letter and send it to sebby and mom and have them give it to everyone i know and ask for at least 10 dollars... they only need around 50,000 dollars to create a sustainable vocational center...

i mean, people want to donate when it will make a difference- and this is essentially reviving a completely organized and capable organization. so much better than tacking on another million to a super rich organization that exaggerates about the necessity of what they do (reference to a previous bad work experience)...

more of that later. i spent all day yesterday walking around in the hot to local businesses asking for money or to see if they have an interest in giving money for transport so that their employees can be educated about hiv/aids by peer educators... i think something like one in ten people are infected in tanzania...

anyway, it seemed kind of pointless. because people either can't afford or don't want to say yes, but they also won't say no- they just say come back another day... even if they did give, it would probably amount to so little. each dollar would be a lot more money... so please keep in mind that i'm going to ask you for a donation...

onto other things.

egypt was really fun. cairo an amazing city, i hope to go back one day... i say that about a lot of places but this time i mean it a little more.

r is leaving tomorrow. supposed to throw her a going away something or other but i feel like no one wants to help me. i bought four big bottles of konyagi and put them on the kitchen table- it's a "local brew"- some kind of hard alcohol that they make here that tastes a little like rubbing alcohol... after work i'll go to look into getting a crate or two of bottles of soda... i asked ch, an old volunteer that came back to live with her boyfriend and she said she'll help me transport the crate(s)... i don't know. i guess people aren't interested in making an effort to send r off because maybe she didn't make many friends here besides her boyfriend... i feel like she was sooo nice and welcoming to me when i first came that i want to send her off well but i don't know why no one else wants to.

so someone at the rwandan tribunal died last week. i've heard different rumors- one was that it was from a minor stomach problem, another was suicide, and another was that there's a weird disease going around arusha that makes you die pretty much immediately... and a danish girl volunteer died last week also and that death is linked to the "weird disease" rumor too...

also, a friend of sg's that worked in the same building died from being stabbed by his neighbor during an argument... he says that he's sure that i've met him and described him but i couldn't recall- and am secretly hoping that i don't because it's easier not to.

anyway, doesn't it seem like a lot of death stuff happens here? maybe they're normal things that end in death only because the resources that may prevent them at home aren't as accessible to everyone here? i don't know.

tomorrow i'm going to the closest village that is most affected by the famine problem to donate some money with st and r. st knows a man from the church who tries to raise money for it that's going to take us there. i think sometimes the money that's allotted to famine or donated doesn't actually get to the problem so it's best to go give to the village directly... i wish i was personally rich and had a lot of money to my name. i'll give a little now and then whatever i have left over when i'm leaving...

all in all, i'm happy to be here. in a good mood. happy i'll be working with this ngo and another...

i really miss ju. she doesn't come back for another two months. but i really can't wait to hang out with her again.

talked to seb last night and laughed a lot, and then mom and deeter who i miss so much this morning. so that's made me in a super good mood.

lots of love, Ganga

egypt

hi everyone

egypt has been an amaazing trip so far. left arusha a few days ago and took a shuttle to nairobi. our driver ran over a sheep on the way there because he didn't feel like slowing down i guess.. and then we had a problem with our tire so all in all it took us 8 hours to get to the airport. a took a different shuttle there, so she was there 2 or 3 hours before us. we flew at midnight to dubai and got there around 6 in the morning. we took a bus into town and walked around/shoppped for 6 hours. they both bought some electronics and i bought a scarf... for the first 3 hours of walking around the city there were absolutely no women in sight... it was kind of funny/noticeable. also, the men kept a lot of space and didn't really make eye contact or say anything which was very nice... only a couple twenty somethings said stuff like, 'hi girls!'...
the city was very clean and there were absolutely no beggars/streetkids on the road...

got to cairo and took a falouka on the nile at night with s, a girl that lives here that used to be in arusha who we're visiting, her friend l who i like a lot, and then r, a, and i... the next day we went to the pyramids and the bazaar which is a pretty fun place (kind of like greece-ish).. while we were there we met a family that works there that knows s and they were soooo sweet and brought chairs for all of us to sit with them even though we were pretty much blocking the street- and they gave us tea and bracelets that i said were pretty as presents.. they've invited us to their house for dinner tomorrow night. but r is missing her boyfriend and desperately wants us to fly back a day early, so we might miss it... went to dahab yesterday- beach at the red sea and then at 2 am a and i hiked mount sinai- where moses received the ten commandments... it was soooooooo beautiful and one of my favorite things so far. get along pretty well with a and took this trip to realize it. she left tonight to go back to arusha...

so things are good. i'm having a great time. i really like cairo but can't fight the compulsion to try and eat as much fast food as i can while i'm here. i know that's bad but that's how i feel... but i don't. s has a list of egyptian food that she wants us to definitely eat before leaving so we've eaten most of them- and a little mcdonald's in between...

lots of love to everyone- Ganga

sebby's gone

hi everyone

seb left yesterday. we had sooooooooooo much fun. we were both really happy for every second that he was here. we hung out in arusha for the first night, then went on a short safari to ngorongoro crater, then to matemwe beach in zanzibar for a few days and spent the last night and day in stone town... then one more night and day in arusha- and he left yesterday.

and i think carlos and evelyn had their baby!!! not sure a hundred percent because we got a lot of missed calls and never actually got in touch- but i'm under that impression. i can't wait for pictures.

-(not true... baby's not here yet. at least seb didn't miss the birth!)

sebby brought electricity with him. it's been back since the day he arrived. rumor is that it's on because the president's in town but will either stay or be gone again when he leaves... we'll see


i'm happy and feel lucky that he was able to come and visit me. but now i'm sad that he's gone. it was really fun and much more fun than the fun that i thought i was having here before. and now it's hard to adjust/be happy here. and hard to like anyone around me. i know that it'll pass, it's just how i feel now. also, i leave for egypt tomorrow evening for a week and feel bratty because i don't feel like going at all. i have a bad stomach and feel very tired to go on another trip for a week... after we get back, i'm going to try and stay put for the rest of the time because i want to stay in one place.

sebby had a lot of fun on the safari, i felt a little bored being in a car for so long and the animals weren't as close as i expected- but a good experience i guess. a guy came along with us that's visiting one of my housemates- he was also really loving the safari. we both loved the beach in zanzibar- beautiful and not too touristified.. i was a little overwhelmed by the hustle bustle of stone town once we arrived there... but architecturally it's pretty etc. anyways, he took lots of pictures so i'll email them to you once they're uploaded.

we missed a big rain/a little bit of a flood when we were gone. i heard that a few people died, but mostly people living near the riverbank...

sorry not to be more bubbly, i should have written about the trip while i was on it and happy. now i feel a little sick and sad that sebby's gone and that i have to pack tonight and go again tomorrow. we're taking a shuttle to nairobi tomorrow afternoon and then flying out at midnight... i hope it's fun. it probably will be because i feel so reluctant about going/my expectations are low right now.

lots of love, Ganga

almost the beginning of fun

on the way to work today, st elbowed me in the face when we were getting off of the dala dala and my lip started bleeding. he felt really bad about it, but it's a funny/kind of different start to the day.

he made me listen to a song this morning that basically said "people call me lazy, but they're crazy"... i think because i always wake up and get dressed for work and then get back in bed and rest for half and hour to 45 minutes...

r went to rwanda today. she's gone until monday. went to dinner with her last night and it was really fun. she borrowed her boyfriend's car and drove us... she and a are really brave about driving here. they borrow cars and drive when they get the chance. i don't think you could pay me a million dollars to drive here. i honestly think i'd say no. i hate driving at home, but this is a different story...we had one little confusion and had to pull over... but other than that i'd say her confidence takes her far...

last night was boring after dinner...went to listen to music...

i've noticed that yuzzo is barely around anymore. it must be weird for him to lose a whole group of friends and acquaintences...

inquired with s's housegirl about finding a housegirl for the aunty... but i need to email her and ask about the salary...

it's sweet. one of ju's suitors that used to stop by the office to see her still comes by to chat even though she's gone back to uganda. he must really like her. yesterday he told me a lot about the chagga(sp?) tribe and that both of his parents are chagga. he said that since he's the youngest born, it sounds like he has to live with/take care of his parents forever... he's very sweet. he was talking about the bad chagga stereotypes of being crooked when it comes to money and said that he believes them. he said that up until now he hasn't recognized it in himself, but it might come if he has it inside of him...

another one of her suitors gave me his business card the other day when i bumped into him.

i've talked to her a couple of times and emailed since she's been gone... i miss her but don't notice as much as i thought i would. which is a good thing. i think i prepared myself, so nothing's as bad as you imagine it's going to be...

it's friday and now time has decided to pass slowly with the knowledge that seb gets here tomorrow.

i might be less frequent with this typing while he's here because we'll be out and about... but i'll type again when i get a chance

have a great weekend

mganga

hi!

according to people, mganga means witch doctor (or just doctor according to the dictionary) in swahili and i say "kama mganga" when i say my name so that people pronounce it correctly

i'm super duper sore from the kickboxing. more sore today than yesterday. lesson learned for not exercising for three months...

booked a short safari for when seb comes. we leave at 6 in the morning the day after he gets here. then get back and fly to zanzibar the next morning. then get back, and he goes home the next day...it's really going to be a whirlwind busy trip. i'm sure he's up for it though. i can't wait.

went to the indian aunty's house last night. made the mistake of eating before i went. i thought that she wouldn't have electricity so i didn't want to assume that she'd cook... but then she had made a lot of pani poori (sp?) and i had to eat again and she served me a lot... her son's my age and they spoke a lot of gujarati and kept insisting that i understood even though i told them that i don't... and i told them some stories and realized that people rip me off a lot...the safari guy and an indian man that owns a jewelry shop here- she said if i want to buy anything there again she'll take me and he'll charge her differently. oh, i asked her what it was that she had wanted to talk to me about before, and it was that she wanted me to work in their internet cafe... i practiced my swahili with her and she was encouraging and said that i know too much swahili... it was fun to go there... but after dinner we watched tv in hindi which i didn't understand so i got bored and really sleepy. i feel bad for her. her housegirl quit 2 months ago and she's been doing so much work on her own and she's older and needs help but says that she's embarassed to ask anyone to link her up with a new housegirl... she seems really tired..i'll keep an eye out for anyone that is looking or knows of someone looking for employment as a housegirl..oh, and she told me that i've gotten dark from roaming roaming all the time... and that i have dark circles from tiredness like her.. and she gave me lots of guavas from her tree to take home.

st said that his coworker zebby invited me to go with him to his house for lunch on sunday for a traditional chagga (sp?) meal (his wife's chagga)... but seb and i will be on safari. ju's mom is chagga and she told me that a stereotype of the chagga tribe is that they're known for making money/stealing money/businesses, and they're from the kilimanjaro region...

there's a women's day thing put on in this conference center where our office is... it's sponsored by the un i think. there are going to be a few speakers and i think the president of the country, kikwete, might be one of them. it's this evening. the whole event is only supposed to be an hour or an hour and a half... but i'm sure it'll end up being longer

supposedly the electricity problem will get better after the 10th of this month...but who knows...they say it's the worst drought in ten years

monday funday

had a wonderful day yesterday. woke up early to catch a bus to moshi.

st and i went to moshi to visit our swahili teacher in the hospital. he has lung cancer and is paralyzed from the waist down. he's in the icu with other patients so we could only shout to him from the doorway of the room that they're in. we were standing in the doorway with some of his grandchildren, his daughter, a co-worker of his, and i think maybe his brother (an older man that looked like him).. he was really energetic and friendly and shouting a lot. he looked a lot younger too. maybe he had lost weight or got a haircut or something.. i don't know why. when i asked him if he has energy/strength, he said that he pretends that he does because once you stop pretending, you are conquered. he's going to the capital today for a possible operation.. there was one moment when he had a little bit of trouble and i got nervous. we were exchanging cell phone numbers and he was looking at his phone about to give me his number, and then he closed his eyes and started breathing deeply for a long time... then he opened his eyes, and did it again. but then whatever it was passed and then he asked me to say my number...
it really made me feel good to see him. he's great. it puts things in perspective/no one has problems if he can be so sick and be so happy/optimistic.

after the hospital visit, we stopped by the visions house in moshi to meet the two volunteers that were away during the week that we stayed there. it was nice to meet them. e and n, they're a couple that came here together. they were very warm and friendly and seemed happy that we stopped by and said that they'll come and see us in arusha some time. also, there are two dogs that live in the yard of that house, one with a really damaged looking face. they had just gotten there and were really scared and standoffish when we stayed there that week in january, but this time when we went there the dogs seemed so friendly and happy. it's amazing how those volunteers transformed the dogs just from petting and being nice to them for two months...

we have five or six dogs that "live" outside of our house, but none of us pet them really. only j, she loves them and pets them but they kind of won't leave her alone because of it.

oh, and our fridge is broken and stinking. a couple of days back, we weren't getting electricity at night either... because when it would come, there would be a "power surge" and we'd have to shut everything off etc.. so there was smoke and our fridge broke, and my cellphone charger doesn't work anymore.

so much for ever getting groceries...

st and i made dinner using the kerosene stove last night. i came up with the dish- rice with shredded carrots and oil, salt, and eggs mixed into it.

so ju left yesterday. not as sad as i thought i'd be, but this is only the first day.

i have a new friend, g, who's italian and reminds me a little of damon- looks like him a little and blinks similarly. he's really negative in a funny way. everytime you say "how are you doing?" he answers, "terrible, terrible".. yesterday he called me and the first sentence he said even before saying hello was,"ganga, my head is exploding, i am terrible". i'm supposed to meet him after work and go do kickboxing with him at some place that he's heard of. i'm a little bit sick so don't really feel like it, but it's a fun/new friendship thing to do so i'll go if he still wants to. i brought clothes with me to work.

the wesleyan kid, c, was supposed to leave for america this weekend, but he went to the airport yesterday and found out that his flight was actually on saturday... so he had to re-book for today.

that indian aunty called me yesterday and kept saying "where have you gotten lost?" and we made plans to do something tuesday. she said she'll pick me up after work.

so i'm trying to busy up this week so that it passes quickly- and then sebby will be here!

jennifer lopez

hi

i've kind of lost most of any natural enthusiasm for "blogging" but i want to keep doing it for the rest of the time because i haven't been keeping a journal

so, how's everyone? i hope that you're all doing well. mom, you should call me- i have a question for you.


we made dinner last night for 11 people using that kerosene stove again. i've started to dread the thursday dinners a little bit just because i'm not excited about the long preparation part of it anymore- but it always ends up being really fun. this week, st's coworker zebby and his wife came. oh yeah, and i'm going to start working with chawakua (their hiv awareness org) a little bit in april. april because march is interrupted with travel plans (zanzibar, then egypt). and work here is picking up as well, so that's good. i feel more useful.

my swahili's getting better. i feel the best that i've felt about it so far. i feel like i can try and explain what i want to say in a very roundabout way if i need to/don't know a word. people's friendliness goes from 5 to a million once they realize that you're really trying.

this is unrelated. but i want to tell you about this cute little girl named jennifer lopez. she's ju's cousin. actually her name's jane, but pronounced in a way that it sounds like jenny- so ju calls her jennifer lopez. she's 4 but looks like she's 2 ish. and she's really messy and has a really calm and sweet face. she's ju's uncle's kid but they have a very hard life so she really likes to visit ju's mom and stay for a few days. she can eat as much ugali as a grown man, and she eats so fast. i'd like to have a kid like her because she seems like you could hug and kiss her a lot a lot and never hold back and she'd never get spoiled or bratty. there's something so nice about her.

the wesleyan kid, c, is leaving to the us this weekend for almost a month. we went to his house earlier this week and played a really fun game that i've never played before. it's fun to have things to do in the night because otherwise if we just sit around everyone gets sleepy around 8:30 without light.

we went out after the dinner last night and yuzzo sang where we were. we don't talk or look at each other. i passed him in the daytime the other day too. he knows that we all know the bad thing. part of me wants to think that it's something he doesn't know that he did/had no control over and that i can still be friends with him... i feel sad to not be friends anymore a little bit...but i know

oh, koplo, the taxi driver that i always call who's really nice and doesn't ever say a price anymore because friendship has been formed... he likes ju and always says funny things to her/calls her to say goodnight etc even though he's married- and he has a short temper and last night he got mad because he saw our friend k hold her hand and then she didn't feel comfortable going in the taxi alone with him...

not much else.



sebby will be here in a week and a day. i'm so excited that sometimes it's hard for time to pass.

love, Ganga