wedding bells

hi! sorry it's been long.

so my housemate j is going to marry her boyfriend sg (our orientation coordinator when we first got here) next month. it's really exciting! and we're going to have the reception at our house with all of sg's family. he's their oldest and only son, so his parents definitely wanted to celebrate in some way, even though j and sg asked if they could just go on a long honeymoon to zanzibar instead of celebrating...it'll be fun. i just hope that i can make it. i have to go to zanzibar for work because there's a conference that ends on their wedding date, so i'll see if i can leave early or something. i'll feel bad if i miss their wedding...

st found out that he still has malaria.. he said that he felt ok though. he's going to get checked again tomorrow.

i think my malaria medicine is making me really anxious all of a sudden. the other day it was terrible and last night i had so much trouble falling asleep. it's anxiety for no reason, i'm wondering if i should stop taking it- i hate feeling anxious for no reason.

last week a big tree fell down in front of our gate from the rains. our poor nightwatchman had to chop away the whole thing in the morning after having stayed up all night.

oh, s isn't my friend anymore. it's bad because it also prevents me from being friends with all of his friends because we have no way of seeing each other because we always used to meet up at his apt. st told r everything- that s has a new girlfriend etc... so i think he'll be cold to all of us because of it. it's good that she knows because she had been planning on coming back to africa for him, but i think that she's mad at me because i wasn't brave enough to tell her. oh well. that's life. at least she knows now.

met up with a friend of a friend that i had never met before on monday after work. she was living in ny before she started travelling and she's interesting- she realized on her trip that she thinks that she wants to become a midwife...

drew from college is going to be in town this friday, it'll be nice to see him.

not much other news. have been entertaining the idea of maybe going home a little early to spend more time with family and friends because i don't know where i'll be in the fall. but it's kind of just a joke with myself. i don't know if i'm seriously considering it. i can't believe that there's basically only two months left..

yesterday was a holiday-union day-when tanganyika and zanzibar became tanzania. and supposedly monday's a holiday too..lots of holidays this month.

ok, lots of love, ganga

easter goatness

hi. happy easter.
on easter morning s picked me up with 3 masai guys to buy a goat for them as a gift. he knew one of them from somewhere near his church or something. in the car, one of them started singing making a lot of gutteral noises, it sounded really interesting and s said that he said that he can't sing too much because he could get into a trance...he might've been joking, i don't know. anyways, we went somewhere a little out of town and they bought the goat and s and i waited furthur away so that the price wouldn't increase... then they tied the goat up by it's neck and feet and put it in the back of the car. it seemed a little like the goat knew what was going to happen. it whined/whimpered once or twice and that made me feel a little sad... then we drove to the woods behind an apartment building where a lot of masais hang out/maybe live (?) and they suffocated the goat to death in order to keep all of the blood inside. then they cut it open and a couple of other men came over and they ate all of the fat and a lot of the innerds raw... they ate so voraciously that it actually made it look delicious- plus i was really hungry. s and i didn't eat any. he didn't seem like he would ever consider it, and i wasn't up for testing my stomach/taste buds etc.. they switched into speaking kimasai a lot of the time so s didn't understand what was being said then either. one guy was saying something to me in kimasai and seemed like he wanted an answer but i had no idea how or what to answer so i felt bad that he looked confused by my unfriendliness/inability to understand. also, there's something that a lot of masais use in their nose. they kind of rub it in. it's a brown powder. s said he tried it once and it made him see pink and red... i didn't really know what he meant by that but i thought that since they use it so casually/regularly, it must be pretty mild. one of them brought it over and i said i'd try it and s asked them to show me how to. but the second they started, i changed my mind and said no. one guy started sneezing, spitting, and snotting everywhere and within seconds of rubbing it into his nose the second guy's eyes started to bulge and look very affected and he started putting his fist into the air above his head- must have been powerful? anyways, then we waited around while they finished eating the raw parts and then we drove to s's dad's office to try and get something but the dad wasn't there. so we drove back and then decided not to wait for the meat to cook. s took some pics that he said he'll email to me and i can email them to you if you want to see.
after i got home, mama and baba vivien who live in the house attached to us invited me and my housemates over for their easter lunch. they had a lot of guests visiting from kenya. it was fun and the food was delicious. we watched cheetahs hunting and stuff like that on tv the whole time. it was fun. also, they have a big ugly red-eyed rabbit behind their house that just had bunnies which are really soft and cute.
then yesterday was another holiday and the whole day was really boring and i just stayed in the house. my housemate j had a high fever last night. also, the volunteer in moshi that i tried to visit that was sick with the same type of malaria that her sister died from suddenly went home to canada this week. she was getting more sick and she felt like she owed it to her family to go home, especially because she couldn't tell them that she was so sick...

not much other news. i'm pretty bored lately...

tz friends

hi. sorry for not writing for a little bit. it's confusing. this month has so many holidays so the work weeks are all choppy. yesterday was a muslim holiday but i don't know how to spell it so i don't want to attempt to write it. some man came in to "fix" my computer last week and i don't think it was broken- i think he came to install something, but now nothing works and the woman that deals with those types of things is out of the country, but back soon i'm thinking...

anyways, remember how i consciously decided to be more reserved when making male friends from here because of the whole bad/yuzzo/thing that happened? well, now i think i've found some nice friends that i can hang out with and i'm not misunderstood or anything like that... my housemate r that left a few weeks ago's boyfriend from when she was here- s, is really nice and actually a lot more open and friendly about inviting me to hang out than when she was here. he already has another girlfriend kind of- who i really like a lot. i don't think it's my place to mention anything to r because she's probably having a hard enough time already adjusting back to life at home and she was really obsessed with him-it would only hurt her feelings...

yesterday i went with him and two other boys to the house of his housegirl's relative because his housegirls's father passed away the day before yesterday. we just gave condolences and a small gift but didn't stay for food. then we drove to moshi for the rest of the day. we met up with some of his friends that i've met before and then i asked a friend that came with us, ro, to drive me to the visions volunteer house in moshi because i wanted to go say hello to the woman volunteer that was there when i stayed there for a week because i heard that she's really sick. she has the same kind of malaria that her sister died from a few years ago. also, the other two volunteers there have malaria. but when i stopped by, no one was home. oh well.

anyways, i had fun with them and feel comfortable and safe being the only girl. and i'm happy i found that because it seemed like it was going to be hard/not an option.

also, some people tell me that they hate indians but that they like me. s has been telling me that since i first got here about how much he hates indians. i keep telling them that indians are friendly, maybe just african indians aren't..it's true that they don't mix at all..when i see african indians places, they don't stare at me when i'm with expats, but they do if i'm with africans

being in the house here in arusha is so boring these days. st is over his malaria i think, but now he has something else, cold/flu type thing- so he's always sleeping or not talking...and j spends a lot of time in her room, although she's been more friendly lately.

not much other news.

i feel bad that i meet people that want to study but don't have the resources etc. and i think they want me to help them in some way...but i don't know too much about those things. anyways, it makes me feel lazy.

i'm pretty happy here now, i hope that the time doesn't start to pass too quickly

***

hi

saw the president yesterday outside of our office. we're on the second floor and were standing on the balcony and he was posing for a picture with the presidents of uganda and kenya and other people. it was easy to recognize him right away because every business has a huge picture of him hanging up. i've noticed that from going around to businesses trying to fundraise for chawakua... it must be a law.

my housemate st has malaria. he felt nauseous yesterday morning and a woman from his work made him go to a clinic... so he's home today.

i've been kind of stressed and sleeping badly. seb has some family stuff going on so he calls me and gives me updates so i sleep lightly to hear the phone ring. and also, it's been raining really heavily throughout the night and that wakes me up... there was a lot of water on the floor of our sitting room this morning. i'm surprised my room doesn't get wet because i'm pretty sure my windows are open.

i had a nightmare last night that i was in egypt and i was recklessly driving a car by myself (yeah, most definitely a dream) and there were lots of people and animals (buffalos/cows etc.) in the road and i hit one that belonged to one of the men and it died. then the people around me started pouring oil on me and i got scared that they were going to light me on fire and kept asking why they were splashing oil onto me- but they wouldn't answer or would do it when my back was turned... then two people that i knew pulled up in a truck and i tried to communicate to them that i was scared and they pulled me into their car in between the two of them and we drove off. they explained to me that the people were going to burn me because that's the punishment for killing someone's animal. it was an awful awful dream... i think i dreamt it because the man in my book the white masai is starting to act a little crazy, and i was reading it just before bed.


i've noticed that people are so nice to me when i ride the dala dala alone. i think they must think that i'm going to fall out or fall over or something- because if i'm standing, they force a space and say 'let the mzungu sit down' or someone else that's standing makes me sit as soon as there's an empty seat. at first i'd say no no, but realized it's pointless and now i just say thanks....

going to hang out with a girl today who's recently been texting about meeting up. we've never hung out independently... she came here a year ago as a volunteer and married someone from here and only stayed married for a short short time and has now been going through a messy divorce. and she lives with her current boyfriend. and she also secretly dates other people. but none of it seems like it sounds once you meet her. she's very sweet and free spirited. i hope it's fun. i need more friends.

___

hi-

there's a big meeting here, at the building complex that our office is in. the presidents from tanzania, kenya, and uganda are here for the EAC's summit meeting. it's funny, there are always guards standing at the entrance, but they never ever say anything as you come and go- but today two people feverishly asked me for id, which i don't have. . . i don't ever carry any sort of id with me anywhere.

i'm reading a book called the white masai and i'm almost finished with it. it's about a european woman who goes to kenya on vacation with her boyfriend and then falls in love with a masai man and leaves her life in switzerland to come back and marry the masai. it's poorly written, i think because it's translated, but a good story at its core. the woman is obviously crazy though, i feel like she has such skewed perceptions of what goes on around her. she seems to think that people look at her in awe of her beauty in situations where people are obviously freaked out by her. i'm exaggerating, but it's kind of like that...

yesterday i heard that my italian friend g is really sick. that he had to go to the hospital in the middle of the night and that he might fly home. i texted him and didn't hear back so i'll call him today. i bumped into his roomate on the way home from work and he said that he thinks he's making it up... weird that he would think that.
oh- g just called me. he said he's in the hospital "lying in bed like an idiot"... and that the fever's gone and he's better. that's good to hear.


getting used to r being gone...saw her boyfriend briefly when he came by to pick up his stereo and said we'll hang out sometime.

it's been really quiet in our house after work most nights. i'm really sick of pasta. but i have to say i'm soooooo appreciative of the parmesan cheese and the poptarts that sebby brought me when he came. i have a lot and i eat them a lot.

i know the kids that play outside of the house more these days. they're cute and as you get to know them cuter.

met our nightwatchmen's wife and kids this past weekend. his baby girl is one and a half and just like a doll. she has big eyes and sucks her thumb.

maybe going to uganda at some point to visit ju before she comes back... but i'm tired and want to wait for my residence permit to go through so that i don't have to keep buying visas back into tanzania...

ok. bye.

april

hi!

weekend was good. happy april fool's day.

on friday, i went with st and this man that's in charge of food relief to two villages nearby that suffer most from the famine problems. we went there standing up in the back of a pick up truck. i don't think i've ever gone anywhere in a vehicle standing for so long. there was a guardrail to hold onto. it was a sunny and beautiful trip. apparently conditions have been improving since the rain and they don't think anyone will die from hunger until food comes from abroad in may, but they have had some people become unconscious from hunger... since there's been some rain, there are local vegetables available until food comes. it's silly that they send food from abroad because it only gets here after the worst of the drought is over because of all of the "assessment" that needs to take place before it can be sent... we met the chairmen of both villages and talked to them/asked questions and gave a donation... i hope that i have a good amount of money left to give before i go home... three hundred dollars can buy enough maiz flour to feed eighty families for one week...they showed us their record books of which families the last bags of maiz flour went to. it was interesting/weird to see the reality of a problem that i've heard about... a lot of cattle have died from the drought/hunger also. the ones that we saw were sooo skinny, but apparently getting better. we also passed a dump on the way there. everyone around our house burns their garbage so i wonder where the dump stuff comes from, businesses i guess?

went to a shaggy concert on saturday. it was a fun experience but shaggy seems like a funny character. he did a lot of random hip thrusts on stage...

r left to go home to canada. she was crying a lot before she left. sad that she's gone...

started becoming more friends with ch, the old volunteer that came back to be with her boyfriend here/see how it goes... she's nice and funloving...

not much news... a little homesick again today. it's funny how it just sneaks up on me. i miss kavi. i haven't talked to her in awhile.

ok. love, Ganga